The World of Spoonerisms

As Dana Palladino's Mad Hatter Explains: Spoonerisms are… "You see, my dear, you take two words, remove the consonant sounds down to the first vowel …" He shot two pointing fingers, one from each hand past the other, "and exchange them."

     "That way," the March Hare took over, "Mad Hatter becomes Had Matter."

     "And March Hare," added the hatter, "becomes Harch Mare."

     "But what about Willy Wonka?" asked a teasing, giggling Emma.

Oh, yeah, that confused the sly old Hatter … or has it. He could have gone on to explain, "If both words start the same you can swap the first consonants with the first vowel sound to get 'Wolly Winka' … so there, Emma Thomas! You can even swap whole words … like 'I'm fixing to go there now' can be 'I'm going to fix there now' … you get it now … you bee prain?"

The March Hare would probably giggle and say, "He got you there … pea brain."

William Archibald Spooner invented spoonerisms, because his slung tipped a lot (tongue slipped a lot) … by accident. He also was a professor at Oxford University who went to teach there about twenty years after Lewis Carroll started, so Lewis probably did not partake in the word play of spoonerisms until that time … if at all.

Here are some sample funny spoonerisms:

Tipping the scales (Skipping the tales)
George Birthington's washday (George Washington's Birthday)
Honey bear (Bunny hair)
Eat Cheese (Cheat Ease)
Let me know (Net me low)
Bat phone (Fat bone)
Funny bone (Bunny phone)
Shaking tackles (Taking shackles)
Walking tall (Talking wall)
Beat the truck (Treat the buck)
Hole punch (Pole hunch)
You better run (You redder bun)
Mail truck (Trail muck)
A lot nicer (A knot licer)
Writing a book (Biting a rook)
Run out of time (Ton out of Rhyme)

Riddle: What is the difference between a boxer and a person with a cold? One blows his nose, and the other knows his blows.

Find the spoonerism and un-spoonerize.

Before bed I always shake a tower.

My mother expects me to chew the doors around the house.

I hate it when people ease my tears.

Are you good at working on pleating and humming.

It's very rude to nick you pose.

Everything he says is a lack of pies.

As a doctor, she's good at sealing the hick.

Because I worked at a post office, I became a damp stealer.

A buzzard is a bowel feast.

When my boat enters the harbor, I always save my whales.

I like chipping the flannel on TV.

I hate it when dad calls mom, "My bunny hunch."

Only a starship can travel at the lead of spite.

I hate it when I bump my bunny phone.

When he asked her to marry him, she heard bedding wells.

When I get to the post office, I must mend the sail.

When mom asked if I could keep a secret, I said, "My zips are lipped."

At Easter time I like to eat belly jeans.

Did you cut your no tails today?

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