
What if you moved into an old house and discovered that a hidden door in a rock wall led into a weird, bizarro world under a mountain ... a world known as the Crystal Kingdom populated by extra weird creatures? Would you dare enter it? Thirteen-year-old Edie Campobasso did ... and oh ... what happened to her and her boyfriend you wouldn't believe!

Misfit Edie Campobasso is forced to find a way into the Crystal Kingdom from her New Hampshire basement in order to retrieve a citrine crystal. If she fails, a sinister dude in a stretch Hummer limo will kill her, her sister, and mother. She has six days, and no key to open the secret passage into the Crystal Kingsom! What will she do?
After being threatened by a weird hooded figure in a Hummer stretch limo, Edie Campobello must confront the meanest person in the town of Baywolf: old feisty Miss Harlacher of Harlacher's Lapidary Shop. Miss Harlacher possesses a stolen amethyst that is the key to open the hidden cellar door that leads into the Crystal Kingdom. Now, Edie enters the shop alone in an attempt to buy it from her.

At nine the next morning, Edie bicycled the three miles to downtown Baywolf. Unlike yesterday, a deep commitment drove her on. She would buy the amethyst crystal and then go into the cave that night to retrieve the citrine crystal and rescue her family from being taken away to who-knows-where. It all seemed so simple.
Parking her bike in front of Harlacher's Lapidary Shop, she entered the old, two-story structure. From the outside it looked like the house Edie had seen in her history book-the Philadelphia house Betsy Ross lived in when she made the American flag for the Revolutionary War back in 1776-and the strong smell of wood supported the appearance of extreme age.
One scan illustrated the very meaning of the word bizarre. The second floor was visible from inside the first. A staircase spiraled upwards in the center of the store to a small platform about six feet square. Jutting out from each side, a narrow walkway with only one short railing led out from the center to a ten-foot wide balcony clinging to the inside perimeter of the building. Another short rail bordered all the balconies. Shelving lined the walls of the balconies, and every ten feet wooden display cases on stands rose from the floor. Mineral specimens abounded along every shelf.
Six wooden panels in the ceiling peaked to a point six feet above the roofline, the last three feet being made of stained glass mosaically hodge-podged with every color imaginable. The late morning sun streamed through in multi-colored rays spraying the interior with a sort of "holy" mixed-color atmosphere.
Edie detected no inside lighting. All the light illuminating the interior of the building shone through the skylight above, and it was too feeble to brighten every corner of the shop. Shadows loomed here and there making Edie feel like an actress cast in a horror movie.
"That's my collection gallery," a scratchy voice said.
Throwing her hands in the air, Edie spun around with a force that flung her glasses to the tip of her nose. She shoved them back in place as fear shrunk her heart to the size of the Grinch's-until she realized the scratchy voice was too high-pitched to be the kidnapper from the Hummer stretch limo.
She peered down an aisle lined on both sides with glass display cases. Twenty feet away a short, old woman with a severely curved back pushed a four-legged metal walker out in front of her. The two front legs perched on wheels. Her hair radiated white, and in the low light it appeared to have a glow of its own. Her tan skin was so wrinkled it appeared to have been around since the Earth first cooled.
Edie glanced around the shop. "Why don't you put on some lights? Don't you have any electricity?"
"No. I don't believe in it. Least ways, for anyplace away from my work shed out back. It comes in handy for running my lapidary machines."
"And what do you use them for?"
The old woman hobbled forward and shoved her long, pointed nose up into Edie's face. Edie turned away when she noticed a nose-hair bush sticking out of the old woman's left nostril. "To cut off the heads of dopey, little girls." She leaned back and pursed her lips. "My, you are one ugly female child."
"Well, you're not so pretty yourself," Edie said.
The woman hunched her shoulders and thrust her head forward. "I'm old, what's your excuse?"
Edie swept her hurt feelings aside. She never expected to hear that kind of ridicule outside of school or away from the neighborhood children who always made fun of her back in Manchester. Grownups were supposed to understand, or at least to pretend to understand.
"Look," Edie said, "I didn't come here to debate beauties and beasts. I came to buy an amethyst crystal. Do you have any?"
The old woman spit on the floor, which forced Edie's eyes to pop wide open. She'd seen many boys commit that juvenile act, but she never expected an adult to act so childishly.
"Of course I have amethyst," The old woman said. "I run a lapidary shop, don't I?" It took her sixty seconds to turn her walker around. "Follow me."
The old woman pushed the walker out, took three short, rapid steps to catch up with it, pushed it out again, took three more steps, and repeated the process many more times until she arrived at a cross aisle. She pivoted the walker with great skill to the left.
Edie rushed to catch up. Arriving at a three-legged stand, the old woman slapped a hand on the face of the giant purple crystal mounted on it.
"Big as a watermelon, isn't it?" the old woman said. "It's my pride and joy. I wasn't going to part with it, but I'll let you buy it."
Edie shook her head. "Uh … well … I don't think it's uh … small enough."
The old woman dashed a hand off her forehead. "That's it. You've hit it right on the head. You young people don't think!" She eased her hand back onto her forehead. "Ow! That hurt."
Edie pointed to the giant amethyst crystal. "Where did you find such a big crystal?"
"Don't worry about that. You have made me madder than a prairie dog forced to live on a Florida beach. I was going to give you my children's rate on this crystal, but now …" She wagged a finger at Edie. "… top retail if you want it."
Edie's curiosity got the better of her. "How much?"
"Fifteen thousand."
Edie gulped loud enough to be heard by the old woman. "Dollars?"
The old woman glared at her. "No! English pounds, which would make it about 28,000 dollars." She thrust out a hand. "Cough it up."
Edie coughed, but only bewilderment rushed out. "That's a nice big crystal and all …" She raised one hand stretching her index finger and thumb about one-and-a-half inches apart. "… but I need something about that big."
The old woman threw her head back and cocked it to one side. "What? How can I make any money on a three-inch crystal? That's too small to mess with. You want me to starve to death?"
"One-and-a-half inches," Edie said.
"One-and-a-half? Why, if I swallowed it, I'd get more value out of it."
Edie giggled. "I don't want anyone to swallow it. I just need to buy it."
Mumbling to herself, the old woman hobbled off down the aisle and Edie followed far enough behind her to feel safe.
"Yeah, yeah," the old woman mumbled, pulling up next to a display case.
Edie eased alongside her and peered into the case at the many black open trays looking like shoe box lids turned upside down. They were spread out with many different kinds of crystals. The old woman pulled out a tray from the shelf below the one Edie could see, lifted it to the top of the display case, and shoved it in front of her.
Right away Edie's smile soured. She pointed to the many purple crystals. "That many? You have that many?" She stared up at the woman. "There must be thirty amethyst crystals in there."
"I have two more trays with just as many."
"How am I going to tell which one fits?"
The old woman let loose a scowl. "Stick them up your rear end one at a time." She leaned forward. "You little turd! Just pick one!"
Edie shook her head. "You are very rude. I'm glad my mother warned me about people like you."
The old woman threw her head back and laughed. Then she grabbed her own neck with her hands. "Ow! Now you see what you did? You made me laugh so hard it's kicked up my condition. It's all your fault. If you hadn't-"
"Look. Maybe I can make this easier." Edie pointed to the tray. "Which one was stolen?"
The woman's face turned the color of her hair as her mouth opened wider than Edie thought any mouth could open. When it closed, it left her craggy, space-ridden teeth gritted together with her lips peeled back. "Why you …"
The old woman picked up the tray and whipped it toward Edie. She kept a grip on the tray, snapping it back to herself sending the crystals hurtling toward Edie, who only had time to throw her hands in front of her face. The crystals bounced off her head, hands, and chest, and tumbled across the floor, some shattering into many pieces.
"Don't do that?" Edie shouted. "One of them might be the crystal that opens the cave entrance."
The old woman hurled the black tray at Edie's head. Edie sprinted for the front of the store. Darting outside, she jumped on her bike and sped off down the street.
